It was in this room that This Bear sat quietly looking out the window. He had been straining to see out this particular window but he was not tall enough and there was no furniture for him to stand on. He had leapt up and tried to hold on for as long as he could to the edge of the windowsills but he no longer had the energy. Not right now anyway. He was tired. He now sat on the floor with his arms to his side and his head bowed down dejectedly. Every so often, he looked up at the window with a yearning so fierce it would bring tears to anyone who saw his eyes.
What made it even harder was that he remembered being outside – that he had experienced the sun, sand and sea. He even missed the occasional heavy rain and the harsh wind on his face. There was a heavy ache in chest that he could not shake off. He desperately wanted to be out there again but he could not turn away from the window and those times that he could, his eyes were so exhausted that he could not see the door.
Day after day, his attempts to reach and hang on to the windowsills are repeated. There are times when he feels boxed-in but he does not give up. He believes that there will come a day when the window can be opened or the door can be seen.
Madness is somewhere between chaos and having a dream. – R.M. Drake
There is definitely truth to the saying what someone does not know will not hurt him or her. “Boxed-in” represents the stages we go through after we experience utter joy and happiness. This may stem from escaping our mundane lives such as going on a getaway. These are the moments in which we truly let ourselves go – where we are completely relaxed and at peace. These are the moments that awaken our souls. These are the moments that torture us when we return to our routines.
These moments of bliss that we have had become both a reminisce and a yearning. We have now known what a certain kind of freedom feels like and it becomes even harder for us to stay within our flag lines – all we wish for is to disappear once more into those moments of our memory.
“Boxed-in” also signifies how it feels for those of us who are caught at cross-roads in our lives. You may have experienced this or you could be be experiencing this right now. You feel like you are at a verge of change – where a new phase in your life is starting but it is not progressing at the rate you would like for it to move. You wish it were quicker. This intermission is driving you mad. You are fighting ferociously for what you desperately want yet you see no instantaneous results. Perhaps this is exactly what is so frustrating about it. You try to understand so you remind yourself that it will happen in due time – you just need to be patient and not give up. At the same time, you remain trapped between this burst of future and your stand-still present. You are “Boxed-in”.
All of this being said, I now close my eyes to the rays of the sun beyond my glass window. I hear the soft waves crashing to shore. I hear the sound of seagulls and pelicans. Occasionally I hear the sound of the human race – their chatter and laughter. Then the vision comes. I see myself sitting on the open balcony with a drink on the side table. Suddenly there is a greyish cast and it starts to rain. Not heavily, just a slight pour. The sun is hidden behind the clouds and it starts to get slightly chilly. But all of this is so serene. I smile as I raise a bottle of cider to my lips. My heart is warm. I am at peace.