“Please be my quiet, please be the calm in my mind, please stop the voices” – Tyler Knott Gregson
How many of you have lain in bed wanting to sleep but your mind is still racing at a million miles an hour? How many of you have laid there with worries, frustrations, thoughts that would not wind down for the night, a list of to-dos – and how many of you have laid there in anger, sorrow and pain?
In our exhaustion, we then revert to our own quirky ways to convince our mind and body to rest. We have parents teaching their children to count sheep or read them a bedtime story. We have the ones that bow down our heads or look upwards and hold conversations with a form of deity. We have the ones who prefer to talk to ourselves – to convince we did okay and tomorrow is a fresh new start. We have the ones that play out scenarios in their mind so we can escape into our dreamworld before our body gets there. We have the ones that fall asleep to relaxing music or lyrics of songs. No doubt among these, we also have the group of us that lie there with technology in hand, wiring up our brains even more.
I do not have the knowledge to list all the possible things that we all do to convince our mind to rest; of one thing I am certain; we all combine these methods one way or another, in any day or night. Some of these ways may not even lead to sleep instead our mind becomes more acutely aware.
“Drifting off to the words” was drawn at one of the lowest points in my life when I was plagued with thoughts of why I was not okay but repeating to myself that I will be okay. It was that mantra each night that gave me hope, granted myself the permission to sleep and allowed me to soldier on. The secondary bear and whale depicted here represents my companions; my teddybear and his whale brother who have been with me through thick and thin and in this too, they stayed by my side.
These days, I have so much hope with so much to aim for and accomplish that I drift off to the mantra – “I did good today, today has definitely been a good day. Tomorrow will be to.” I am grateful that the day was not a bad day after all; thankful that I am looked after, am loved.
I wish for all of you to know this: that you are all truly loved. That you are not unworthy. That even if you are in your lowest point in your life, it is going to be okay. As long as you believe. As long as you repeat a mantra of hope. As long as you drift off to the warmth of these words.